Category: Lifestyle

This section of IT’S THE LEWK is dedicated to every day activities. Lifestyle is inspired by our daily life and personal interests. Lifestyle encourages readers to be inspired and motivated by the content displayed on this page.

  • 35 Things I Want To Do Before Turning 35

    35 Things I Want To Do Before Turning 35

    With everything that is happening in the world right now, I can’t help but sit and reflect on the things I want to do. Life has a funny way of slowing you down. It’s been forcing me to really sit down and put some long thought into what I reaaallly need to be coming to terms with. What’s that? So glad that you asked. Life is short and if you let it, it can pass you by.

    Time waits for no one.

    I know you know the sayings, just like I know the sayings. We’ve heard them quite a few times throughout our lives, but is it just a saying or is it really that real? While I have been choosing to isolate myself at home by way of social distancing, I’ve been thinking of all the things that I should be doing. That I have been putting off or simply making excuses as to reasons why they can’t be done. I’ve let myself get distracted from meeting my goals, guys!! I’m thirty-one years old and there’s still so much that I want to do. The younger me thought that I would’ve been “settled” and boyyyy was I wrong. 

    Hold up! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been enjoying life but I’ve realized that there are things that I have not had the chance to do yet; that I thought I would have by this stage in life. I haven’t and will not give up on them, as there are other things I want to experience again because it makes me happy. Who doesn’t want to experience something that made them once happy over and over

    So, I’ve decided to come up with a list.

    A list of things that I would like to do before reaching the next “major milestone” in my life. I did the math. I’m thirty-one now. In four years, I will be thirty-five. Four years should be enough time to knock off a few goals, right? Did I come up with realistic ideas that can be achieved? How much can one achieve in four years? It’ll at least give me some things to look forward to doing. As long as I am manifesting my goals, I can keep being the driving force in actually accomplishing whatever it is I want! I’ve attached my list below and included a few that I’m working on already, to give myself a head start.

    35 Things I Want To Do Before Turning 35

    List of 35 Things I Want To Do Before 35

    1. Become a successful blogger
    2. Travel or vacation in Miami, Florida
    3. Buy or build a House
    4. Travel or vacation outside of the U.S.
    5. Renew my vows
    6. Relocate to a new state
    7. Take online courses or go back to college
    8. Go on a cruise
    9. Increase my net worth
    10. Upgrade my car
    11.  Lower my debt/ increase my credit score
    12. Partner with a major corporate brand
    13. Travel or vacation to Los Angeles, California
    14. Attend a concert or festival
    15. Successfully own a business
    16. Become a member of a church
    17. Own a creative space
    18. Redecorate/ Interior decorate my home
    19. Learn a new skill
    20. Spend more time with family and friends
    21. BE HAPPIER!
    22. Support a hobby or extracurricular activity of my son’s
    23. Attend a Paint ‘N Sip Party
    24. BE HEALTHIER!
    25. Take my mother on a shopping spree
    26. Splurge on a shopping spree for myself
    27. Go to therapy
    28. Create a meditation schedule
    29. Chase my dreams
    30. Gain 25 pounds
    31. Establish a tribe
    32. Read 10 different books
    33. Make/ create a new project
    34. Exercise two times a day
    35. Go to a ball/ gala

    Check out more goals/ inspiration posts:

    Have a bucket list of your own? Maybe you’re inspired and want to make your own list now. I want to hear about all the things that you have yet to do/ want to do. Let’s motivate each other. Leave me a comment below so that I can follow along with you! 


  • How Releasing Negative Thoughts Improved My Life

    How Releasing Negative Thoughts Improved My Life

    Negative thoughts are thoughts that stand in the way of good health. The road to self-improvement is a constant journey that requires regular maintenance. I am consistently being challenged to find more ways to persevere through obstacles that arise and it sometimes triggers me to react negatively. My thoughts and fears take over and send me on a downward spiral of self-doubt and uncertainty. I’ve learned how to channel that energy into practicing mindfulness and meditation and it’s really been essential to my self-help development. However, I don’t always feel like being mindful or meditating every day.

    letting go of negative thoughts changed my life

    Stop and Redirect Negative Energy

    When my thoughts and emotions start taking over and controlling my reactions, I’ve learned to stop and redirect them. The one thing that I’ve learned while practicing meditation is that the mind can drift off if you let distractions deter you. You know that you can multitask, you know that you can focus on more than one thing at a time. It’s very easy to lose focus on positivity and the things that matter the most to you. Shifts happen all the time in everyday life, what went well today may not go well tomorrow, and boom! You’re in your head again. Adjusting to shifts in your routine and everyday life isn’t always a quick and easy transition.

    PRO TIP: stay vigilant. You cannot allow negative emotions to dictate your life. The moment that you feed into that negative energy, you are creating and building more obstacles and hurdles for yourself. Discipline yourself to stop and redirect that energy somewhere. Channel it into something else that will emote positive results and energy.

    Write Your Negative Thoughts Down

    My head can easily get clogged attempting to process every single thought and feeling that you have. Painfully overwhelming! What makes it more difficult is trying to sort out those feelings and emotions all at once. It’s too much! How can I solve my problems when I can’t even clearly think about them? Writing down thoughts, feelings, and fears can and will declutter your mind, giving me at least a moment of peace. Writing has always been a safe haven for anyone to be able to speak their mind freely.

    PRO TIP: write it down and read it to yourself aloud. Decide if it’s worth holding on to. If your answer is yes, stop and redirect. If your answer is no, ball up your piece of paper with your thoughts and feelings, and throw it away. Let go of that feeling of wanting to think and react negatively.

    See also: How to Reduce Stress and Self-Care Everyday

    Negative Thoughts are Normal

    There’s no way that I should be expecting myself to be perfect, yet I still do. I’ve trained myself that I should expect nothing but excellence. I’m a planner and an organizer. In my mind, I think that I have what it takes to be perfect. Truth is, it’s impossible for anyone to be perfect. However, for some odd reason, I think that I’m supposed to handle every thought and feeling perfect. I’ve since learned that I need to take a moment, stop and redirect. Realistically I cannot think that everything that I do or every emotion that I have is going to be positive. Especially while on a path to self-improvement because

    *spoiler alert*: it doesn’t happen overnight. I’m going to stop blaming myself every time something goes wrong. I’m also going to discipline myself to stop blaming others every time something goes wrong. PRO TIP: the plan is to always continue moving forward. It’s never personal, it’s a challenge. Don’t question the challenge (no matter how difficult it may be). Stop and redirect. Know that you are deserving of a happy life and believe it!

    Consistent Work Will Decrease Negative Thoughts

    One thing that I know for sure is that I can never give up on improving the way that I want to live my life. Negative thoughts come and go and they only linger if you fuel that energy. Stop giving life to things that don’t make your life better! Consistently putting in the work to defeat negativity and the pessimist views that it brings is going to require great discipline. Implement discipline and routine practice daily to stay focused and on track to meeting the goals that I want to meet and attain. In the beginning, it may be rough, but you’ve got to see it through by staying consistent. PRO TIP: repetition is key.

    I’m taking control over what consumes my mind and I encourage anyone else who hasn’t been in control of their thoughts to also do the same. I’m human, you’re human. Discipline yourself to stop and redirect negative energy. Continue to move forward even when you’re feeling like you’re not ready for the challenge. Stay consistent and develop a high level of focusing on what positively impacts your life.


  • 3 Powerful Books Recommended for Self-Help

    3 Powerful Books Recommended for Self-Help

    At the end of the last year, I decided that I was going to start spending more time focusing on myself. The routines and habits that I have grown accustomed to having gotta go! It’s as simple as this: I need to get back to enjoying life. After some major life-changing events, I quit doing a lot of the things that I typically enjoy. I’m not myself anymore. So, I went back to reading books to start my self-help journey. I’ve found three books that are going to help retrain my mind and thought processes on how to live a meaningful and happy life again. Additionally, these three books recommended in this post have lots of rave reviews!

    Since I am a very busy lady, I really don’t have much time to just sit in a quiet room or corner, curled up with a book. I’ve heard some really great things about Audible (powered by Amazon), a digital audiobook reader. You can listen to your favorite books through the app that you have on your smart device & Audible is giving you a free 30-day trial, plus your first audiobook for free! This was the easiest route for me and obviously a no-brainer. Parents, we read bedtime stories every night. Let’s allow someone else to do the reading for us.

    Self-Help Books Recommended: Manual for Living

    books recommended: manual for living

    Manual for Living, by Epictetus, is the first book on the list. This book helps readers to see that some things are in their power and some are not, and to stop confusing the two. Our opinions of things determine how we feel about a particular event, not the event itself. The manual also wants us to challenge ourselves to think carefully about how we decide to spend our lives. People often spend their lives chasing things that are neither desirable nor as important as they seem. People also spend time desiring things that are not in their power. If this book describes you in any way, this will be a great read for you.

    Self-Help Books Recommended: The Practicing Mind

    books recommended: the practicing mind

    Secondly, The Practicing Mind takes readers on a path of developing focus and discipline in their lives. For those of us who like (or dislike) acquiring new skills or facing dreadful challenges that we hope to overcome, patience/focus/discipline are the traits that seem very difficult to maintain. The author, Thomas Sterner, will demonstrate how to learn skills for any aspect of life (from business to love) by learning to love the process. This is key for people who are in the business of practicing instant gratification. Remember: if at first, you don’t succeed, try again!

    books recommended: 10% happier

    Self-Help Books Recommended: 10% Happier

    The third, and final book on the list, is 10% Happier (written by Dan Harris). 10% Happier is about the discovery of meditation. The author depicts his personal journey and how he began to self-help through meditation. The book tells readers about practicing mindfulness and meditation and allows readers to relate even more by discussing the skepticism behind it. I’m certain there are even a few readers today that are skeptical about meditation, but I implore you to give it a try. I meditate regularly and the book and I are here to tell you that… it works! If you believe.


    If you’re wondering, I haven’t completed all of the books yet, but I have started reading. Hopefully, with the help of Audible, I can complete these a bit faster than the time that it would normally take a busy person to read a book. If you are on a self-care journey, incorporate these books into your plan. Self-care has to start with you. Please share any other books that you’ve read or plan on reading for self-improvement by leaving a comment below. Let’s improve the quality of our lives together!


  • Secrets Exposed: Black Girl Culture Is The Moment

    Secrets Exposed: Black Girl Culture Is The Moment
    black girl culture blog

    The day that I decided I was going to get back into writing again, I did a little bit of exploring for inspiration. For some creative minds, when you haven’t been practicing with your craft/talent, it’s likely due to falling out of love with your passion. I started taking the beginner steps necessary to change my life. I stumbled across BGC, (Black Girl Culture) a blog engineered by black women, for black women. Pop Culture, Politics/Activism, Lifestyle, Music, Health & Beauty, Fashion–all curated by Black women.

    After hours of reading posts and drawing inspiration, I saw that this blog was looking for writers for the winter. Moreover, they were looking for writers for any topic, wanting to center their voice. My inner voice started speaking to me and I said, “Hey, girl! Let’s do this!” Let’s get out of our comfort zone! This could be life-changing for me. Sometimes, you have to stop holding yourself back.

    I submitted my writing for what was considered the application process.

    The Culture Is You, Black Girl!

    See what happens when you… leap? Faith can bring many things your way when you just believe. Now, your girl will write weekly blog articles for Blk Girl Culture, from January 2020 to March 2020. I will be starting and continuing conversations in Health/Beauty for an audience of 100,000+ readers. Blk Girl Culture also has posts featured in magazines and new sources like Complex, Teen Vogue, CNN, BBC, and Blavity among others.

    I am so excited about this opportunity! My life is changing and pulling me in the direction of my passion. I was only looking for the light to spark a bit, and with opportunities like this, the passion came right back. I hope you get to catch some of my posts!

    Get to know me:

    Leave me a comment and tell me which posts are your favorite!


  • 7 Lessons Learned in Life

    7 Lessons Learned in Life

    There are so many lessons that have been taught to me over the course of my thirty-one years of existence on planet Earth. It’s hard to even recall all of the lessons that many people have taught me, or the self-taught ones that I’ve learned over the process of trial and error. What I’ve come to find out, is that the most recent lessons that I’ve learned are the ones that have shaped and molded my self-improvement journey. I decided to share them with readers, in no particular order. To clarify, these are seven valuable lessons learned in life (mine).

    List of Lessons Learned in Life

    1. love
    2. trust
    3. self-care
    4. speak up
    5. passion
    6. education
    7. validation
    lessons learned in life (virtually)
    Photo by Katerina Holmes on Pexels.com

    Life Lessons #1: LOVE YOURSELF

    Although I said earlier that my list is in no particular order, perhaps this is the best way to start; with yourself. You are important, you are beautiful, you are talented, you are deserving of love. The most beautiful thing about loving yourself is that if you’ve mastered self love, you can then be able to pour that love into the ones around you that you love the most (ie. family, friends). Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments or your falls! Own it.

    Life Lessons #2: TRUST GOD, NOT MAN

    This one may go over a few heads, but it’s really quite simple. Yes, if you know that you will never let yourself down, please place trust within yourself. However, people can sometimes disappoint. That goes for everybody, no one person is exempt. Family, friends, spouses, business partners. At some point, you will find yourself in situations where you have to question “can I honestly trust this person?”, and you need to be prepared to know a few things. Not everyone is YOU. People will lie, mistreat, abuse their power in your life. When you place your faith in God and also yourself, you run a decreased risk of disappointment.

    Life Lessons #3: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

    Your body is truly your temple. Your mental health is just as important as physical health. Do your research to find out the best practices for self-care, that work best for you. Everybody has a different vice but there are many different options. Exercise regularly, visit a therapist, meditate! Most important, pay attention to your triggers and know when you need to take that moment for yourself. A big gem that I learned here, is that deep breaths really do work.

    Life Lessons #4: SILENCE IS NOT ALWAYS GOLDEN

    You have a voice, use it. Especially during conflicts and conflict resolution. Learn to express yourself and your feelings in color. Learn how to communicate loudly and effectively, but without raising your voice or getting too angry. You should be able to convey your thoughts concisely, in healthy dialogue.

    Life Lessons #5: PASSION DOES NOT EQUAL ANGER

    You just care a whole, whole lot. That’s okay! You’re not an angry Black woman, contrary to what the masses say. You care about particular things and people way more than others sometimes, and that is what makes us all unique. No one person is the same. Passion will eventually help your creative process, with being able to figure out new way(s) to express your thoughts.

    Life Lessons #6: OPINIONS ARE NOT FACTS

    Why do people care so much about what others have to say? Stop seeking for others to validate you, and validate yourself. People will always talk and have solicited and unsolicited opinions, but why let it dictate your life? Tune out the naysayers and do you. It can start to add unnecessary anxiety and stress that you may not even realize exists until after you’ve listened to what others have to say. Just remember, if it’s not fact, it is fiction. If it doesn’t apply, then let it fly!

    Life Lessons #7: EDUCATE YOURSELF

    The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.– Socrates

    Educate yourself. Research, research, research! Read lots of books, browse the internet. Especially if you want to be an entrepreneur. Every thing is not always taught in school, we can learn in so many other ways!


    See Related: 3 Powerful Books Recommended for Self-Help

    I hope that by sharing what I’ve learned in life, helps any of you that’s been looking to change your thought process on how you view life. Hopefully we are all on a journey to improve ourselves and become happy humans, enjoying life. Who would have thought that these are things we have to learn? Some of you may have already learned these lessons, and that’s great. I hope that by paying it forward, it will reach someone that may be struggling with any of these lessons that affect our day-to-day operations.

    See Related: How To Reduce Stress and Self-Care Everyday

    What are some life lessons that you’ve learned? Leave a comment below. If you know of anyone who this may benefit, share/ reblog!


  • 30- Day Self Improvement Challenge

    30- Day Self Improvement Challenge

    Rediscovery and self-purpose are two things that I have been working with myself on throughout the year. The younger person inside of me would have probably thought that this is something I should already be perfect in. Especially in my 30s! Additionally, I’m starting to believe that it can take even longer to truly understand and live in your purpose. Therefore, I convinced myself to complete a 30-day self improvement challenge.

    Sometimes it seems that I might have figured out where I want to be. Then, I get hit with a possibility that I did not even know could exist. I am certain of a couple of things:

    I am not perfect and I am still blossoming into my destiny.

    Make Room for the Self Improvement Challenge

    When you aren’t a novice to things that you’ve once experienced before, you begin to search for a challenge. Challenging yourself can be a great way to test your progress and see growth. Additionally, challenges help you practice patience and learn new habits to take the place of old habits. I was once told by Oprah and several other popular online articles that it takes twenty-one days (minimum) to break/ create a habit.

    I found this neat challenge on Pinterest that is designed to help change my lifestyle. As I am starting this challenge, I am manifesting that by the end of it, I will have a clear concept of where I would like to take my career. 2019 challenged my career goals really hard as I worked tirelessly for my employers and tried to be my own boss simultaneously. I no longer want to do both and I want clear and concise ideas for how to accomplish my goal!

    I have attached the 30- Day Self Improvement Challenge below and hope that you all decide to join me. Let’s get the conversation going and leave me a comment if you will be joining and if you face any challenges during your 30 days. Of course, I look forward to the end result for all of us!

    30 day self-improvement challenge

    I am forever grateful for the self-courage and wisdom that I was able to discover while quieting my mind and rediscovering my purpose. Now, I am one step closer to reaching the end goal, even though I know there are many steps between the start and finish line. I am just proud of myself for even starting.

    Use #30DaySelfImprovement on other social media outlets such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter so I can catch all posts.

    Check out more self-improvement and self-care posts: