Are you aging gracefully into your 30s and 40s but finding it hard to build new friendships or find a group of women that you can genuinely call your sisterhood? Do you get overwhelmed trying to establish genuine friendships and connections with women in your age bracket? Finding friends can definitely be challenging.
You are not alone.
Thank you, Jody-Ann Buckle, for contributing this post to lifestylewithkris.com!
While I have friends that will continue to be around for years, finding a kindred group of women to connect with can be challenging for various reasons. Over the last two years, I have personally lost some friends and left a sisterhood. While reevaluating the people I associated with, I learned a lot about myself and the qualities I am looking for in a friendship or any relationship.
The one thing that I have learned is to let go of what no longer serves me. I will no longer put myself in an uncomfortable situation or circumstance. If I have the power to change any positive or negative situation, I will change it. I have no problem with letting go of things I have no control over or desire to control. I applied this theory to my professional career, friendships, associates, intimate relationships, and business opportunities and the quality of my life continues to improve.
Have you ever heard the saying, “everyone/everything is not for you”?
If you are holding on to a career, a friendship, an intimate relationship, or a sisterhood that is no longer serving you, you cannot be afraid to let it go and seek what it is you are deserving of, sis.
Finding Friends: For Black Women 30 and Older
- Research the sisterhood or organization you are seeking to join
- Be prepared to ask questions about the goals, the purpose of the group, and how conflicts get resolved
- Seek to ask questions not just in the beginning but throughout the entire process
- As you get more involved, analyze if the purpose/ goals of the sisterhood have shifted
- Do the values continue to align with your values and beliefs?
- Be vigilant about how friendships form and develop
- Does everyone have a voice? Are you being heard?
- Is the sisterhood finding ways to support and collaborate?
Following this blueprint has been essential to navigating friendships. I feel as though I belong and contribute to the greater good. I have connected and collaborated with some incredible women and made genuine friendships within the sisterhoods that I am a part of. I hope to continue building unique friendships by checking in on each other, listening to each other, and respecting each other’s opinions while focusing on building and supporting each other.
Finding Friendship: Sisterhood Etiquette
While navigating this new era of friendships and sisterhood, evaluate yourself as a friend and how you treat others. Seek to give, contribute, serve, and empower your sisters. As with any sisterhood or friendship, you need to be mindful of friends who constantly bring up your past, your faults, or are generally negative. One-sided friendships do not work. Make a goal to find a group of women that will challenge you to be a better version of yourself. Do not be afraid to mingle and meet new people, and do not hesitate to walk away when something does not feel right.
What is one piece of advice that you would give to a Black woman, 35 and older, about meeting and making new friends? Leave your comment below to help another Black woman find her tribe!